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Longer the Expected

I know that I have been absent for quite some time now and I had promised to be back well alas the day has a arrived and I’m back baby!!!

First Things first let’s play catch up. So when I last left you Jackson was 2 and he is nearing three and boy are those terrible 2’s really kicking in. He has gotten incredibly smart and intelligent also to the point where he is tricking me. How can a simple near-3 year trick an adult you may ask your self? Well the answer is clear with those big brown doe eyes of his. Every time I turn around he is doing something he is not suppose but when mommy starts to get angry he looks up at me with those puppy dog eyes and the big weeping lip and says “I sorry mama” then he continues to kiss me and say “it’s okay momma. I make it all better.” Now by this point most of you are saying well that wouldn’t work on me I would never let my child act out and then I counter ask you Well do you have a child? If the answer is “NO” please keep your comments and advice to yourself if the answer is “Yes” then advice welcome, heeded and if I see fit used but I’m piling my way through this thing called parenthood just like everyone else. Do I have all the answers “No”. Do I make mistakes “Yes”.  Do I often feel like I’m failing as a mother “all the time”.

But two things I do know is that 1. “I love my child more then life itself” and 2. “I would do anything to help him succeed”. With Parenting there are two categories you are placed into which are a quote “Good Parent” or quote “Bad Parent” needless to say you don’t ever want to be put into the “Bad Parent” category. Parenting is much more then that though. It’s not just good/bad there is so much in the middle of it that can’t be brush off it matters and need to be recognized. Like the question does it make me a bad mother for not being a stay-a-home mom and spend every waking hour with my son? Or does it make me a “Good” mother for furthering my education in order to get the good career so you can provide for that lovely little one and give that child everything you never had.  People don’t understand the dynamic I have with my son and probably never will because even if they have a child of their own you can never compare one parental relationship with another they are all different and unique and complex so to just say that there is two ways of doing something would be wrong. People find ways to do things different all the time.

I don’t think it’s so much people that put the pressure upon us parents, as it is ourselves. I find numerous different thoughts and worries running through my head on a constant basis like:

“I don’t think I’m spending enough time with Jackson” – Label “Bad Mom” or

“God, I’m so tired and can’t find the energy to give him a bath tonight we will tomorrow.” -Label “Bad Mom” or

“Looking up milestones for your child and discovering wait he doesn’t do that yet. Is he behind developmentally? I should have worked more on that.” -Label “Bad Mom” or

“God he didn’t eat anything from the beautiful breakfast I made” or “Did I dress him warm enough?” or “I hope he is growing okay?” or “I hope I didn’t dress him too warm to the point of over heating?” -All Label BAD MOM

I know that Worrying is the only part of parenting that I actually got right but sometimes I wish that I could have an Angel come down from Heaven and say “Wow! What a Wonderful job you are doing,” or even a checklist for myself to be lead to the route to be a better mom.

This whole rant comes after a meeting I had at Jackson’s School with his teachers about his behavioral problems. I’m pretty much at my wits end here. His social and emotion levels are not upon to par AKA He Hits. He hits Teachers He Hits Students, and He even hits his Director. I have been through the procedure or find the right therapist and working with him in the school. Well the first brought in another to work with and then they brought in a third. So I have three Social Worker/ Therapist who specialize in early intervention problems within children all telling me that he needs more help and support.

So wait I don’t understand the three of you aren’t helping his improvement let alone his two teachers in the classroom. I just don’t understand why, how, when and what to do to prevent it because newsflash I’m not there. Am I supposed to punish him when he gets out of school? After the fact when the deed is already done and over will and now he doesn’t understand why he is getting in trouble. I think they just put so much pressure on a Two year old that doesn’t really know what’s going on.

It sucks this feeling inside of the pit of my stomach, sucks. I feel hopeless and frustrated that the people telling me that they can help my child are referring me to others whom they think will better suit him. So even with the team of three and the pair of tow in the classroom my son hasn’t improved with his hitting habit. I hate to have that child that everyone labels as “Bad”. Why do you even have to label children as well? I wish that they could just see what I see. My Sweet, innocent child who loves his mommy and Jake and The Never land Pirates. Whenever someone gets hurt at the house he is the first to kiss it better and protect and heal. So why is this behavior not transitioning into the classroom. I cannot understand!

With that I will leave you if you have any advice or comments please feel free to drop them in the comment box, I open!

This is a good time to say “AHHHHHHH REAL MONSTERS!!!”

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This isn’t Goodbye

As you all know already I’m a college student at the one and only WSU. It’s finals week which means extremely long hours and a even more crazed momma. That means I will not be able to post for the next couple weeks and I just wanted to let my readers know I haven’t abandoned you I’m just super busy.
I will be back though and I will be back with some more juicy stories about my lovely little monkey.
I should be back around the 20th cause his craziness can’t be contained or withheld for too long or else it will boil over and nobody wants that.
For my readers I truly thank you and hope to see you all really soon.
As I’m writing I’m wrestling with this two year old monster who is handing me the boogers he is picking from his nose.
See this stuff is just too good to keep to myself. So I promise I will be back. It may be a little more difficult now because my phone has suffered a tragic accident involving permanent purple marker and a smiling little devil.
So chances are I’m not even gonna wait that long so until next time. Ahhhhhhh real monsters!

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Mickey Mishap

They should call them tantrum twos.

Jackson has been on a kick lately. He will start to cry on the drop of a hat if he doesn’t get his way.

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Interestingly enough the word “NO,” no matter what tone and what reason it triggers the water works or shall I say pretend waterworks.

So, late Friday afternoon mommy and Jackson were settling down from a long day with our evening cartoons. Mickey Mouse was doing his darn thing all over the television screen dancing hot diggy and what not. Needless to say Jackson was really into it.

Jackson followed the cartoon mouse all around his club house dancing and singing along, out of tune. As I swapped my seat position my wider then average hips just so happened to graze the remote.

“Oh no!”😱sear panic ripped through my body. As soon as I grab to correct the mishap it was too late. The boy wonder dancing along suddenly stopped and dropped to the floor screaming, “Mickey, Mickey, Mickey!”

I hastily change the channel back only to discover it was too late. The tantrum train had left the station and it was not heading back any time soon.

I tried to direct his attention back to the television and it worked for a moment but he was too upset to let it settle that easily. Jackson was mad and he was going to let mommy know it. Jackson rolled on the floor wailing and forcing the tears to pour out of his tear ducts until I said, “Look Baby Mickey is back on!”

He slowed his roll for a moment and caught the last 30 seconds of the children’s program only to have it abruptly end and his tantrum to rolled back with vengeance.

My heart dropped and thought to myself “WTF! What am I going to do now with this crazy little monkey?” I leaned down to reach Jackson on his level and tried to pull his little body on to the couch with me but my efforts were futile. Jackson has a certain way, as all little two years do, of stiffing up his body or wiggling like a worm making it practically impossible to hold him.

I placed his stiffen body back on the floor to let him cry himself out of this tantrum. As I placed him down and got ready to become comfortable on the couch again he looked up at me and with his trembling little voice said, “Momma, Up, please.”

What was I supposed to do? His voice was so soft and cute along with his lower lip. I stood no chance to refuse such an offer. I bent down and tried to grapple with the two year old once again. This time was a little more successful. He waited until I actually had him up on the couch to throw his tantrum once again.

“All right then” I thought, “I’ll put you down once more to try and tame this beast.” I placed the upset child back on the floor and once he knew mommy was not playing his game he stopped crying.

I picked him up again and set the television channel on to another one of his shows and when he saw me do this he said, “Thank you Momma.”

I did it! I won! I conquered the tantrum beast and made it out alive to tell the tale. That is until next time. Ahhhhhh real monsters!

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Taming the Beast

Two Year Terror problems

 Let’s talk about discipline people. Jackson has hit his terrible twos and absolutely refuses to listen to a thing that comes out of momma’s mouth. I don’t know what to do. I was spanked as a child as there is nothing wrong with me having respect for my elders. I want to instill that same kind of respect that I have. I have witnessed bad behavior children in public and I always say to myself “get control of your child!” I have come to eat those words my son is not the best in public. Okay, I’ll be honest he is a monster😰.

What can I do though he is two I’m very stern with him when is comes to discipline but I don’t know if you have noticed this little monkey’s face? He has mommy wrapped around his tiny little baby finger. So when I discipline him I can’t stay mad for very long because he runs up to me and wraps his arms me and says “Sorry Momma!” How can u stand mad at a heart felt plea like that? So here in lies my problem what do I do with this mega monster in public?I want to take him places and do things fun but eventually he gets fussy and has a freak out. So we will leave the place mommy just blew a giant chunk of money on to compensate for my toddlers abrupt outburst. Here I am single mommy trying to settle a tiny tyke during Disney on Ice but not leave because the tickets were too expensive. So what’s a girl to do I know there are those of you that have championed this technique so if anyone has a suggest please leave it in my comment box. Ahhhhh real monsters!!!😨😰Image

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So as you all know I have birthed a bundle boy joy who is growing everyday. No one in my immediate family has raised a boy before so everything is new and exciting, aka crazy. This idea has surfaced from friends and family to raise my son as a tough guy. What is a tough guy?

 defines stereotypes in this article as:

People organize their knowledge about the world around them by sorting and simplifying received information. Therefore, they create cognitive schemes, which are certain representations of the reality displaying its most typical and fundamental elements and properties. These schemes are responsible for defining the essence of our worldview and have a significant influence on social cognition – understanding, anticipation, situation and emotion control.

Last Halloween I put Action Jackson in a Captain America costume. I picked it because it had these little foam muscles which made my peanut look buff. I don’t know why I thought that was so cute. I just did. After watching the Tough Guy Guise I realized that I was feeding into a male stereotype that’s been plaguing our nation for decades now.

Who says that his muscles define a man? Why is image so important? I’m putting the same social pressure on my son as Hollywood and television put on women with their bodies.  I’ll be honest the only toys I bought Jackson are boy toys until I noticed he started liking horses.

Well, if you have been in a toy aisle lately you will notice that boy horse toys are few and far between. So I took the dive and bought him a walking girl horse toy.  He loved it. I’m pretty sure it’s one if his favorite toys. I saw nothing wrong with buying him a girl toy. He plays with then at home all the time with my niece’s mermaids.

If girl toddlers want to spend their time playing with dollies – and they do – and if small boys want to spend their time constructing things out of Lego where exactly is the social benefit in frustrating their natural urges?

On the other spectrum of this argument I’m not going to put my son in a dress and heels. I also don’t want him to feel like I’m so against this tough guy guise that he has to be ultra girly. I’m all for making my son into a nice gentlemen who treats women with respect and kindness, but since when has that made a man girly.

Why is society making our children neutral? Why is that so important?

Boys were made to be boys and girls were made to be girls. Once our children grow of age to decide that’s not the way the want to live then so let it be. Don’t drill it into our children’s head that they are not allowed to do the things or enjoy the toys society deemed uneutral.

Boys don’t have to be ultra tough either. I saw the video of the world’s strongest boy and it made me a little said that he gets to miss out on the normal everyday activities that little boys should be able to do. The image of men has changed so drastically in the past years from movies to magazines men are put on a different level with the way they are suppose to look, act, feel or show their emotional. We are all different in our own ways and we should be able to choice our own paths in life and not have people pick our destiny for us.

I know I want Jackson to be free to choice what he looks like, acts and feels.

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Bake Sale

I love to bake and baking is become one of my hobbies that relaxes me. Every now and then I try something new and decorating my own cakes and cupcakes and what not. I’m not a famous Buddy baker but it takes the edge off and I feel accomplished at the end when once I show off my hard work to the family.

When Jackson’s school has special events such as the Giant Tag Sale or Voting Day they usually have a bake sale and parents are asked to volunteer there time to bake and bring it in so the school can make money off it. I’m all for my son’s school getting as much money as possible so I decided to bake a ton of sugary goodies for this next sale coming up in a few days.

I decided to bake brownies with a special frosting topping and some sugar cookies to go along with it. I started the Friday before and assumed that I would be able to drop them off in the morning.

I started late Friday night and worked very hard to make batch after batch of these chocolate delights. After the third go around I figured that I had enough brownies and I needed to start decorating them as to make them Easter relevant and pretty. One thing I’ve learned from working in restaurant is that people eat with their eyes and to make something look super delicious means that I would get the most sales with my brownies and get a little pat on the back from my son’s school about the amazing job I did on the brownies.

The outcome would be self-affirming super mom status and Sam Dun Dun Dunnnnnnn can do it all. Well I was getting to the point of no return on sleep situation and tiredness so I decided to cheap out on the sugar cookies with store bought Pillsbury per cut cookies you place on the sheet and throw in the oven. So the only hard work I really had to do was to create works of art out of the food palette I gave myself. I prepared the frosting piping bags, warmed the colored sugary topping and readied myself for the finally most difficult part of the baking process. I really wanted these home baked good to look fabulous so I took my time.

Running low on sleep it wasn’t my best work but I could deal with it. I plastered the good stuff and set them up for sale the next day.

I woke up early on my only day off Saturday to make the delivery of baked goods. I get my monster in the car and drive off towards his school. We get there and the parking lot is empty. “Oh No!” was my thought running through my head. I parked my car grab the son and the good stuff and head towards the entrance only to find out that the door is locked and no one is home.

Surprise once again Mommy Brain Drain has kicked in again and the Tag Sale isn’t until the next weekend.

What is wrong with my memory? I use to be able to remember everything now I’m stricken down in my glory by this curse of forgetfulness. Oh well guess these bad boys are going back home and being left on the counter where all the hounds aka my family can ransack them.

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He Didn’t Have To Be

Hello there! My name’s Tiffany and yes I usually write about Greek Mythology. However, I think I have some quality stories to share with the oh-so-famous Action Jackson and Marvel Mommy. Here it is. Single motherhood. I think there are more than one ways to be a single mother. For example, I would say that my own mother had been a single mom, but not for the reasons you may be thinking.

My dad WAS around… but he wasn’t REALLY around. I think the reason is they were young when they had me, and not married, which can be incredibly confusing. Unfortunately, because of this, my mom has said that she felt very alone and scared at the time of my birth. I know my dad eventually stepped up. And now… we have a great relationship. However, I kind of wanted this post to be about something a little different.

Dating while having a kid. My mom and dad decided not to get back together after having me, which is no surprise to me. I’ve seen them together today. It’s MUCH better off this way! So my mom decided to date. At least that’s what I can only assume considering I now have the most wonderful step-dad I could ever imagine having. To put him in perspective for you, here’s a song that always reminds me of him. “Brad Paisley- He Didn’t Have To Be”

Brad Paisley – He Didn’t Have To Be

That song is literally about a great step-dad who came into the picture and treated his step kid like his own. My step-dad (Al) did not have any kids when he started dating my mom, and I was two years old so he really gave me the royal treatment.

“When a single mom goes out on a date with somebody new, It always winds up feeling more like a job interview, My momma used to wonder if she’d ever meet someone, Who wouldn’t find out about me and then turn around and run, I met the man I call my dad when I was five years old, He took my mom out to a movie and for once I got to go, A few months later I remember lying there in bed, I overheard him pop the question and prayed that she’d say yes.”

I love that song. To call him my step-dad actually sounds funny to me. If you ask anyone I am friends with they will tell you that to them I call him “my dad” and my biological father I call “bio dad” when referring to him. I love them both the same, but that’s just my way of classifying them as both important to me. Step-dad just sounds so evil. Thanks Disney!

Al has told me in recent years that he even proposed to my mom in front of me. He took us hiking up a mountain and at the top he asked her. It’s so adorable… I can’t. I’m just so lucky to have him in my life, and my biological father. They both mean the world to me… and of course there’s my mom… the woman who cared for me through it all.